The Death Of Royalty
by Robb Wagner
There is nothing sadder than when a band who once ruled the world becomes a parody of themselves. Money and sucess can do this to any band, (see Metallica), but this isn't the only cause. Drugs, or the lack thereof, can do the same thing. Just ask Aerosmith.
Back in the seventies, Aerosmith was one of the best rock bands ever. Who can deny classic albums like "Toys in the Attic" or "Rocks"? The music on those two albums might be some of the best rock-n-roll ever recorded. However, the band was on massive amounts of a pharmacy full of drugs at the time those albums were released. Soon, the drugs caused the band to break up. The real tragedy was yet to come, however.
Aerosmith remained a non-entity for a few years, and then released two uninspired albums with replacements for Joe Perry. Steven Tyler got clean, as did the rest of the band. By 1987, they were ready to accept Joe back and try again. This never should have happened.
With the original lineup back in place, they started their new album. Clean and sober were their new watchwords. Apparently so were boring and dull. At the risk of pissing off every anti-drug group out there, it seems as though Aerosmith needs drugs to write decent rock. The two albums without Perry could be excused, as they didn't feature one half of the toxic twins, but to suck with Perry could mean only one thing; drugs were a necessary element to their writing.
Pretty soon, all they seemed capeable of writing was lame, sappy ballads. I got so sick of hearing new Aerosmith songs, that I almost sold all my old Aerosmith vinyl. I couldn't tand to watch themselves rehash the same tired old power ballads any longer. It was wearing on my mind.
Then, lo and behold, they put out the single for the "Charlie's Angels" soundtrack. Thank god all-fucking-mighty, a rock song! I was really excited. It seemed like Aerosmith might actually be back! No more cliched ballads! No more shlock! And, apparently, no drugs either. It seemed too good to be true.
Apparently, it was too good to be true. The final straw was the super bowl performance. They desecrated one of their all time classics, "Walk This Way", by performing it with... GASP... n*sync and Britney Spears! You've got to be kidding me! By giving credibility to these flash in the pan pop acts, they lost all respect from me. I'll never speak their name in a dignified manner again.
The sad thing is that there won't be a funeral for these one time kings.........
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